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Alibaba delivers again with this crazy octuple (8x) suspension e-bike for $350

Alibaba delivers again with this crazy octuple (8x) suspension e-bike for 0

I’m going to start this off by immediately begging you not to buy this ridiculous contraption you’ll see in the article below. You’ve been warned. Ok, now feast your eyes on this monstrosity! A $350 e-bike from Alibaba that comes with not just a suspension fork, not just full-suspension, but at least five more shocks than any bike should ever conceivably possess, seemingly randomly sprinkled around the bike’s frame.

Credit goes to my publisher, Seth, for finding this absolute gem. He and I play a little game where we send each other increasingly ridiculous Alibaba finds, trying to one-up the insanity of the other’s previous find. This one is definitely a contender.

Spotted on AliExpress’s platform, the site that makes it dangerously easy to procure the strangest (and sometimes coolest) things from the Far East, this is an e-bike that just keeps on giving.

First of all, check out the suspension. There’s a front suspension fork, which is theoretically standard. There’s also rear suspension, but instead of the single rear shock or occasional dual shocks (one on either side), the designers of this e-bike gave us quad shocks. Then, instead of leaving not-well-enough alone, they decided that a rear swingarm with quad shocks wasn’t enough, and then turned the entire rear half of the e-bike into another swingarm with two more shocks.

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At this point, I’m starting to get confused. Do we call the battery sprung or unsprung weight now?

This much suspension is like trying to drink from a firehose, but we’re not even finished. Because if that wasn’t enough springiness for you, there are two more springs in the saddle, technically bringing us up to 10 springs total! A guy hit a speed bump on this e-bike last week, and some say he’s still bouncing.

While I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt, my experience with the cheapest of Alibaba e-bikes tells me that they likely didn’t modify the spring rate of the shocks when they just kept copy/pasting them. That means the bike probably rides stiffer than if it had half the number of shocks (or it just has the proper pre-load for a 600 lb rider).

Unfortunately, the rest of the bike is rather par for the course in terms of cheap direct-from-China electric bicycles. We’ve got our “500 Watt” motor, a surprisingly large 48V 15Ah battery, folding handlebars, a cute little rear kid’s seat complete with grab bar (a nice touch, to be honest), a full twist throttle, fenders, and even a complete lighting package with turn signals.

The 66-lb (30 kg) bike isn’t very light, but each of those shocks adds to the poundage, not to mention all the other doodads we’ve got bolted on around the bike.

The bike still folds in half, which is surprising considering most of the frame is taken up by springs. At first glance, I didn’t even see the folding mechanism hiding there.

It’s a wild specimen, and the free shipping to the US makes the $350 price even more tempting. But please don’t buy something like this (that lead image is AI-generated… I didn’t buy or ride this!). There are some real concerns here. Who knows what kind of quality control or safety certification went into that battery, let alone the frame and other key components?

Let’s just enjoy this one on the screen like most of my Alibaba finds and appreciate that someone out there said, “let’s see how many cheap shocks we can fit on a bike,” and nobody stopped them.

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