Emma Mills-Sheffield knows all too well the grief that suicide brings. Her sister Lou took her own life. And so too did their maternal grandmother. Emma’s father tried too.
“The cycle of grief was immense and deep,” she explains as we sit and talk in her Hove home.
“It’s not straightforward when someone takes their own life; the anger, the disbelief, the constant searching. There must have been evidence. There must have been something we could have done. There must have been a note. There must have been something.
“And then the anger around, weirdly, other people. People don’t know what to say or do.”
After years of decline, suicide rates are rising – especially among women.
In 2023 in England and Wales, they reached levels not seen since 1999. Some 6,069 suicides were registered in the two nations in 2023, up from 5,642 in 2022.
Suicide data is complex and can be quite hard to interpret.
The official figures have been disputed, with some experts saying they have been oversimplified. This is partly because suicides can take a while to be registered and show up in the official data.
But what can’t be disputed is that far too many people are taking their own lives.
This is a public health crisis that needs urgent intervention, according to suicide prevention charities, which are seeing a surge in the number of women seeking help.
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‘Women are experiencing high levels of depression and anxiety’
Rachael Swann, CEO of Grassroots Suicide Prevention, a charity that helps people in crisis, says 70% of users of their Stay Alive mobile app, which connects people to support, are now women.
The rise in women taking their own lives is attributed to many factors, including menopause and perinatal depression, she says.
“As a midlife mum myself, I could really see the pressures,” she says.
“Women are really experiencing high levels of depression and anxiety, and there’s been a high level of domestic abuse following the pandemic.
“And then we’ve got that middle age group of 45 to 64-year-olds, who are the sandwich generation. So they might be juggling caring responsibilities, working and childcare. I’m in that space and there really is very little time and space for self-care.”
More attempts ‘than I have been able to count’, survivor says
Olivia-Louise Hamilton has been trying to take her own life since she was 12 years old.
She had a difficult childhood and battled for years with her poor mental health. She is 29 now and the dark winter months are challenging.
Olivia-Louise Hamilton
“There are more times than I have been able to count,” she explains about her attempts to take her own life.
“And they were quite different in the lead-up to it. Some of them were very, very impulsive, maybe in response to a certain trigger or because I’ve been sort of misusing alcohol, whereas others were a lot more premeditated, there was a lot more planning and that longer-term thought that went into them.”
‘I’m always going to be vulnerable’
Ms Hamilton is in a much better place now, but that does not mean her struggle is over. It is always there.
“I think I’d be lying if I said it isn’t something that’s on my mind. I think that I’m always going to be vulnerable to those sorts of thoughts just because of my history,” she says.
“But equally, the skills and the tools that I’ve learned over the years, I think really help me move forward with the hope that things might be different.
“I always think I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful enough that I won’t have a crisis. But I guess I’m not stupid enough to think that that won’t ever happen.”
Labour has promised to tackle suicide
The Labour government has promised to tackle suicide with the recruitment of over 8,000 new mental health staff specially trained to support people at risk of suicide.
In its 2024 manifesto, it said it would “deliver a renewed drive to tackle the biggest killers”, including suicide.
Ms Hamilton can tell when things are getting too much and how to reach for help. But tragically, it’s not the same for thousands of other women.
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.
